As promised in my previous blogpost, here are 8 tips to help you minimise FOMO, improve your happiness and confidence, and decrease anxiety about missing out. (FOMO can be caused by dissatisfaction with your own social life).
- Be happy for your friends if they are attending an event. Practice being happy for your friends, or for those attending an event, rather than feeling that you have to attend every event with them. You could even develop JOMO, or joy of missing out (a term created by Anil Dash (1)), and develop joy in doing your own activities instead.
- Say “no” to events which are not important to you. Think of what you really want out of life, and decide to “say no” or gracefully decline events which do not help you reach your goals. Focus on spending your valuable time on what moves you towards what you want in life.
- Practice gratitude. It is easy to envy what other people seem to have, or seem to be enjoying. However, (a) you may not know all the facts about their situation – it may not be as good as you think it is, and (b) you may not be appreciating all that is good about your own life. Positive psychology encourages people to experience happiness as it happens – positive emotions and feelings. It’s easy to think that “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence” but this may just be a perception. Using positive psychology allows us to minimise feeling of envy.
- One thing at a time. Multitasking is a myth. Your brain can only focus on one task at a time, and when you think you are multitasking, you are really just switching attention very rapidly between multiple tasks, and then each time you have to remember or work out how to do the new task (rule activation) (2). We can achieve results more quickly, and with less effort, by finishing one task before starting another when possible.
- Practice mindfulness or meditation. According to Psychology Today (3), this is “the process of paying attention, in an open, nonjudgmental way, to your experience in the present moment”. Many mindfulness and meditation exercises focus on the breath, as a way to quiet the mind. Many experts state that it may take up to a month to see results, but you can start by practising mindfulness and meditation for 5 – 10 minutes per day.
- Value quality relationships. If someone has ‘950 friends’ on Facebook, are they really true friends? The Facebook page owner may never have met most of these ‘friends’, and only have a very minimal relationship with them. It takes time to develop deep friendships, and this can be done by sharing your thoughts and opinions with the other person, so that they understand your interests and you understand theirs.
- Savour experiences. As they say, ‘slow down and smell the roses”. It can be more rewarding to enjoy a pleasant evening at home, reading an engaging book, than scrolling through your social media accounts trying to keep up with what your acquaintances are doing!
- Cut down on social media use. By looking at social media you are only seeing the most exciting happenings in other people’s lives. This is unrealistic, and in some ways is like expecting daily life to be like a TV serial – where “something very exciting happens” at the end of each programme (to make you tune in to the next episode). As I stated in the last post, realise that people tend to post the good / exciting things that happen to them, not the boring stuff.
After practising these tips for a month or two, you may like to try the FOMO quiz (5) at PsychCentral, to see how you are progressing. Good luck!
- Good Therapy https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/overcoming-fomo-what-fuels-your-fear-of-missing-out-0418167
- Can humans actually multitask? https://www.scienceabc.com/humans/can-humans-actually-multitask.html
- How Mindfulness Improves Your Brain and Relationships https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201509/how-mindfulness-improves-your-brain-and-relationships
- 10 ways of overcoming fear of missing out https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201501/10-ways-overcome-fear-missing-out
- FOMO quiz
- The Chopra Center https://chopra.com/articles/5-ways-to-reduce-fomo-without-over-scheduling-yourself
If you feel that you would like to improve your life, please feel free to contact me at Sunset Coast Hypnotherapy on 0403 932311, or email firstname.lastname@example.org for a free phone consultation.
Hypnotherapy can be especially useful for helping you:-
- look differently at events in your past
- practice positive self-talk
- concentrate on the present (rather than worrying about the past and future)
- motivate yourself towards your goals.
We can discuss your specific requirements, and there is absolutely no obligation to proceed with hypnotherapy unless you choose to do so.
© Lisa Billingham, 2018